Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Bench Press Technique- Upper Back Bad-Assery

Made a video on how to arch your upper back and where your pressure should be distributed under a heavy bar. Suck it, gravity:

Solum Per Exitum... might as well bench your way out.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Breaking News: Strong Triceps Are IN This Summer... So, Bench More Right Now.

Quick post about an awesome exercise. Here is the video:

Yes, the bar is touching my throat with every rep. This is kinda like a JM Press just with and extended ROM and increased chance of death. Death is a small price to pay for a huge bench press.

Sorry for my fat face.

Solum Per Exitum.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Only WOD That Matters...

Want to tone those upper body muscles? Want swole, ripplin' biceps with elevator cable sized veins to show off to yourself in the mirror at the gym/in your shirtless cell phone facebook profile picture... that you update every 5 minutes? Want those sexy, toothpick thin arms you see all you favorite celebrities sporting because the adaptation of their gag reflex has caused them to have to jam their entire arm down their throat in order to stimulate the release of the hand full of celery and fat free peanut butter they gorged themselves on? You would certainly need too after you go one calorie over your three calorie a week diet.

Well, this workout does none of these things. Don't worry though, your inability to move your arms up to your mouth will not impede the possibility of puking your guts out...

... especially if your guts are made of 5/8inch galvanized chain.

I affectionately call this the Murder Log:

Using a Strongman Log- Load the bar with 187lbs (or close to it) for Men, 100lbs for Women and do 30 Clean and Presses in the fastest time possible.

Then go immediately to:

Dumbbell Benching- Pick a weight and bench it for 10 minutes straight.

Multiply the time it took to complete 30 reps by the weight you used for benching.

Multiply that number by 150. The product equals the number of calories you now have to eat (within an hour of finishing the workout) in order to not die in your sleep the evening after completing the two exercises.

For example, here are my numbers:

8 minutes and 45 seconds for the log (8.45) x 30lbs for the benching (30) x 150 = a 16inch meat lovers Stromboli and a gallon of gatorade... then the remaining 30,000 calories were from whole sticks of butter and baconators.

Disclaimer: If you make it through the workout, then you are awesome. If by some freak genetic anomaly you are able to eat the amount of resulting calories from the above equation, then you are my hero.

Solum Per Exitum.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Research That Doesn't Suck: Heavy Weight is Bad for Your Back

... Only if you think having a weak/hurt back is good for you. A recent study in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research looked at two elite level, female powerlifters in order to determine if their bone mineral density levels were higher than that of the rest of the awful, weak, piss poor excuse for a human being population. Both women have more than 30 years of competitive powerlifting experience, are lifetime drug free athletes, and are apparently two of the most bad ass middle aged women on the planet.

Lumbar spine, femoral, and various other hip measurements were taken and compared to previously established norms

The first women, 48 years old, showed bone mineral significantly higher than the average for both men and women at her age. The second women, 54 years old, registered the highest bone mineral density ever recorded for a female regardless of age.

Why are their bones so much stronger than the porous little toothpicks keeping your body upright? The answer is an awesome principle called Wolffs Law. This states that any force that causes a bone to go under tension or bend, like when you are underneath world record squats all the time, osteoblasts (cells that are responsible for new bone formation) are stimulated and new bone grows in order to adapt.

Let me recap: these two women have been lifting heavy weights and winning trophies for the majority of their lives. Osteoporosis and lower back problems are a non-issue if your bones are thicker than Redwoods.

For all of you research nerds out there saying how this doesn't mean anything because it is only a Case Study and only involved two subjects, stop being such a butt-head. Somewhere out there, a 54 year old women will kick your ass for questioning these findings.

Stop screwing around. Go lift something heavy. Your bones are begging for it.

Solum Per Exitum... and it's easier when your bones are break-proof.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bragging a Little Bit

Just got back from the Arnold Sports Festival where I competed in the GNC Pro Deadlift Competition. Here is how I did:

Had the 5th best bodyweight coefficient and finished the 4th best in total weight (815). If I hit that 832lbs that I missed by an inch, I would have gotten the 2nd place for total weight and the third place for bodyweight coefficient. Oh well, maybe next year.

Solum Per Exitum.